12 February 2009

Why surrogacy and why Dr. Patel in India?

Notice: All content here, and new additions can be found on a forum of the same name: http://dr-patel-surrogacy.com.
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I have come to learn that most folks who are pondering surrogacy have been through at least several IVF cycles and have come to feel that surrogacy is the next logical step in the quest of parenthood. We never attempted IVF before as that would not help us because my wife is taking certain medications that are known to cause birth defects. Basically, we were advised to not pursue pregnancy. As far as we know, we are not infertile, but might as well be...

We thought of adoption, and still do I suppose, but with waitlists years out, this is not exactly an appealing option. Surrogacy, while expensive in the US, was extensively researched though. What ultimately drove us to Dr. Patel's clinic in Anand, India was not just the price though. In the US one must separately find a clinic, a surrogate and a lawyer. It became apparent rather quickly that this was a lot to juggle. A great clinic is very important, but so is a wonderful surrogate. They are not always in the same area and sometimes the surrogate will be adamant on using a certain clinic. There might also be an insistence on using her lawyer and contract; one that might not be exactly intended parent (IP) friendly. Also, there are clinics that won't proceed with certain surrogates, usually because of their size or BMI. It was very frustrating. One could get an agency to handle everything, but then the price really skyrockets toward $100k. With the economic downturn in 2008, money became much more of a factor as well for us. I'm guessing for others also...

My mom had sent to me an email in the Spring of 2008 about Dr. Patel and the Oprah show that had aired in the Fall of 2007. I emailed Dr. Patel shortly thereafter and secured a date about 6 months later...

We ultimately chose Dr. Patel because of the simplicity of having everything arranged or provided by her clinic, including the meds (no need source those elsewhere and hassle with airport security). What a relief. Also a factor of course is her wonderful success rates! And, given that an "attempt" (in late 2008) would just cost us about $10,000 USD (5,600 to her clinic, plus airfare, hotel, etc), it was the clear, logical choice, at least for us.

Oh, another factor is the positive impact the money has on the surrogate and her family. As with the life brought into the world, the money she receives with a successful pregnancy is life-altering. As I recall, she will get about $7,000 USD. When we were out there, we learned that a home can be purchased for about $2,500 USD. Money is often used by surrogates to put their children through college. I find it somewhat rewarding to know that both our lives, and that of our respective families, will be better off by virtue of this chance relationship.

Curious to hear what factors or considerations drove others to Anand...

5 comments:

  1. Hi Tony. Thatnks for taking the time to set up this blog. Here is my little contribution:

    http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=1349EB230F9A6BD8

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/svec/sets/72157604948107724/

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/svec/sets/72157607842039485/

    It is just some video and pictures of Anand and places nearby. I am sure some future travelers will be interested to see how it looks before going there. I know that we really had no idea what it would be like before we got there..

    ReplyDelete
  2. Spanky, you are very welcome. Doing "this" helps me pass the time (the wait has it's share of anguish!), while hopefully helping others...

    Totally agreed on the photos, thank you. I might even just have a post later for photos and videos. Not sure yet...

    How did you learn of Dr. Patel and what made you both decide to trek to other side of the world!?

    ReplyDelete
  3. We chose Dr. Patel, because we felt that they were very honest with us about surrogracy in India. They were not trying to sell us some sort of package deal, that is set up to make "Westerner's" happy. With Dr. Patel there is no need to hire an agency, which only increases the entire cost of the process.

    ReplyDelete
  4. When we flew in to meet Dr. Patel we felt very comfortable in our decision.
    They are good and honest people that will do whatever they can to help with everything that you need, including accomodations, drivers etc.
    Travelling to India wasn't the easiest at time's, however it was so worth it in the end..our beautiful baby! What a sweetheart.

    Thanks for your blog Tony, you really did alot of work.

    ReplyDelete
  5. For those who don't know, BabyDust is a gem of a person, and very knowledgeable on so many matters that interest us. Thank you for your willingness to contribute and help us all!

    The last two comments have something in common, and it's truly paramount here - TRUST. Without this in our relationships, well, they wouldn't amount to much. I too trust Dr. Patel; and I certainly wouldn't have gone out of my way to create this blog if I felt otherwise.

    ReplyDelete

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